I'm a Christian. Deal with it.

“good little Christian girl”- that’s my label. I suppose it could be worse, people could call me ugly, worthless, fat, depressed, a fag. But in some ways “good little Christian girl” hurts just as deeply, because it’s just as false as any of those other labels. Now I’m not saying I’m not a Christian, because I am. But the fact that the second people hear the word “Christian” they get a bad picture of me sucks. If you know me you know that I’m kind (for the most part), I’m a good student, I’m involved with school and with my church. Sounds like a good little church girl, right? But if you really knew me you’d know there was a whole lot more to it than that. I’m kind because I have talked too many people out of suicide and self-harm to not be. I know the power a few little words have. I’m a good student because I get pressured by my parents to be that way. There are consequences for not getting straight A’s. (i.e., getting grounded from mock trial) I’m involved in school because at the beginning of the year one of my best friends stopped talking to me, which meant I couldn’t hang out with that group. So I had to find some way to occupy my time. And I’m involved with the church because the friends I make at camp are the ones who understand. They understand how much it hurts when someone makes an assumption about you because you go to church. Because your parent is a pastor. They understand why it is that we go to camp. That we grow closer to god in a community. I have yet to meet someone who isn’t from camp that understands me on that level. Not that I don’t like my school friends, because I do. I love them to death and beyond and I have no idea what I would do without them. That being said, they still make fun of me for being Christian. And that hurts. The fact that I can’t say, “I have faith in you”, without them being all like, “wow Emily being a good little Christian girl”, hurts. The fact that I can’t tell them that I spent half an hour talking with god last night, because I’d get ridiculed, hurts. To be fair, I get where all the criticism and skepticism comes from. If your only contact with Christianity has been televangelists and Jehovah’s witnesses, then I understand why you wouldn’t want to be associated with someone like that. But to assume that all Christians are like that would be as horribly mistaken as to assume that all Muslims are terrorists. There are the few that are, but the majority aren’t. The majority of Christians are like me, enjoying the community of church, and just wanting something to believe in when we have nothing else left. So I’m not trying to convert you or be annoying or shove my beliefs in your face, I just want some respect. I, as a Christian, promise to respect you and your beliefs, whatever they may be. I just want the same in my return. You wouldn’t call someone ugly to their face, would you? So don’t call me a “good little Christian girl”. Because it’s not true and it hurts.

Intro

So a lot of the time at night I go on some randomass rants. I'll talk about my friends, my faith, and other crap too. Ususally I keep it all inside my head, but recently I decided to start typing it out. I figured, hey, why not make a blog about it? So this is what happened. Love me or hate me, that's what I'm doing. I don't really care if anyone sees it or not, I just wanted to put my self and my opinions out there. So get ready world, because here it all comes.